Monday, June 6, 2011


"Courage is tiny pieces of fear all glued together."  - Terry Guillemets

"Courage is being scared to death ... but saddling up anyway."  -  John Wayne

Today a friend told me that he was concerned about something I had said out of frustration on my blog, and informed me that he was saddened and hurt by the way I went about saying it.  His perception was that I was saying something that I never meant.

His approaching me took a lot of courage.  At least for me it would have.  :) 

So rather than get upset and lose sleep - or perhaps even the friendship - over it (something I would have done a few years ago over far less than this) I immediately retracted the post, and told him privately that the perception he had of the way he saw my words was not the intent of them.  I apologized for my frustration and told him what my original intent was. I hope I got my message across without further muddying the waters.

There are things that I can't change.  Usually these have to do with what others decide to do and not do.  I have no control over these, nor do I need to try to fix other people, impose my own solutions on them, or advise them without their express permission. 

There are things I can change.  I can admit that I have made a mistake.  I can take responsibility for my own actions and allow others to bear the responsibility for theirs.

The trick is in having the wisdom to determine the difference between the two in my day-to-day life.  This can be confusing, as the Cowardly Lion found out in the Wizard of Oz.  The Wizard told him, "You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you're confusing courage with wisdom."  

Actually, by that time the Lion had already discovered the secret of courage: when Dorothy was trapped in the witch's castle, he learned from experience that love overcomes fear.  And in spite of how scared he was, he entered that dangerous situation and played his part to free his beloved friend Dorothy from the green lady's evil clutches.

I guess that is what my friend did.  I applaud him for his courage today, and I realize that in responding the way I did, I was able to face my own fear of losing his friendship and respond honestly and (hopefully) in a loving manner.

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