Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The beginning of motherhood

A few years ago, a doctor was doing surgery on a pregnant woman's uterus to correct a defect in the placenta or some such thing, when the baby reached out and grabbed his finger. The child was only about 20 weeks along, not considered a "viable fetus." Yet that one experience convinced the doctor - who had been "pro-choice" before - to join the "pro-life" camp.

I know that we believe firmly in the church that life begins at conception. It's difficult to argue for abortion faced with the kind of evidence in the photo. I'm told that the doctor was deeply moved by this experience and became a pro-life advocate. I'm not sure if that's really the case or not.

But something about the whole abortion debate bothers me. Don't get me wrong - I believe that abortion is murder. That's not in question at all for me. But I believe that there is a disconnect in the church between this belief and the actions of some of its members.

Let me explain. I was pregnant with my first child - about as far along or farther than the woman whose child is pictured above. It was Mother's Day. When the pastor asked for mothers to line up to receive a carnation to honour their position as mothers, I - believing that life begins at conception - stood up.

Someone tugged at my sleeve. "Sit back down," this person said. "You're not a mother yet."

Not a mother?? Hadn't I been feeling the life inside of me moving? Wasn't my body nourishing my baby's body and helping it grow? Wasn't she keeping me awake at night already? Haven't I already made sacrifices for her? Wasn't I already moving in such a way so that she wouldn't feel trapped under me? (I slept on my stomach before becoming pregnant...) Wasn't I already getting to know her likes and dislikes? (big band and classical versus rock music, etc.)

I protested, saying that I was SO a mother. The person said to me, flatly, "You're not a mother until after the baby is born." Point blank. Just like that. I couldn't believe my ears.

Hm. So it's not a baby until it starts to breathe, is that what you're saying to me? I thought. But I said nothing. I was too shocked, hurt and bewildered by the whole experience. It took me several years to get over this and figure out what was behind that kind of statement.

So my point is this, I guess. If we're going to picket the abortion clinics (something I personally wouldn't do to someone who was that much in distress that she would brave the ridicule, accusations, and sarcasm of "Christians" to find some way out of her painful situation) and stand against abortion - let's be consistent!! Let's treat a woman who is pregnant as carrying a real person inside of her body ... and acknowledge that this is just as much motherhood as when the baby is born and we have to put clothes on it to keep it warm (and - as so many do - hand its care off to someone else for awhile when we get tired of looking after it: pregnant mothers don't get to do that).

Let's shed "superstitious thinking" - you know, the kind of thinking that refuses to turn the page on the calendar on the 31st of the month and has to wait until the 1st before flipping up from June to July - the thinking that fears "tempting fate" or some such nonsense, and let's think through and truly live from our convictions in such a way that it affects what we do ...and say.

Let's quit just talking about loving people as they are, and just...
DO it.

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