Someone reminded me today of something when they sent me a private message regarding the post I put up yesterday, A New Kind of Friendship ( click here to read yesterday's post if you haven't already. )
I had talked about being in relationships where people treat me as an equal, not above or below. This person said he/she was having a hard enough time just with feeling "not less than" - that it was a daily struggle. I have a lot of respect for this person and I hope he/she starts to feel more comfortable inside where it counts.
Those comments got me to thinking about something that probably doesn't get much press in Christian circles.
I've heard a lot of sermons on Romans 12:1,2. Present your bodies a living sacrifice, ... don't be conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. But not many talk about the very next statement. Paul goes on to say, "I say to you, by the grace of God which is given to me, not to think of yourselves more highly than you ought to think, but to think soberly, since God has granted to all the measure of faith." (vs. 3) Did you get that? Paul is telling people not to get too full of themselves, but he's also implying that they ought to think SOMETHING of themselves!!
This flies in the face of a lot of church tradition which passes itself off as doctrine. You know, the "such a worm as I" doctrine. If a person is self-assured (another word this individual mentioned to me today, more about that later) that person is often judged by some in the church as being prideful or arrogant. But Paul didn't say to not think anything of ourselves. Just not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. Paul knew, as Jesus did before him, that a healthy self-concept is necessary in order for us to be able to love our neighbours as we love ourselves. The thing is, a healthy self-concept is a lot easier when we can believe and accept the great love of God for us.
Don't we all need to know that we are "not less than"?? Not only that we are no more worthy than someone that society may have marginalized (see previous post called Created by God) but also that we are no less worthy than someone that society might acclaim?
The term "self-assured" (which earlier today my friend mentioned to me) speaks of someone who is comfortable in his or her own skin. But the word literally means that one has assured oneself, or spoken assurances to oneself. I remember having to do this in my journey of recovery the last 22 months. Daily at one point. I've written about that period in my life before on this blog - the daily affirmations of worthiness, of value, of hope, that I had to say over and over to the frightened little 6-year-old child in me, the child who thought she was such as screw-up, the one who was always told she couldn't do anything right.
Those days are behind me, and the voices I heard in my head, the ones that told me I was defective, crazy, or bad, are reduced to a murmur rather than a shout. When they get louder, that's when I know I have to start talking to that little girl again.
She's learning that she's not less than. It's a pretty cool feeling.
I had talked about being in relationships where people treat me as an equal, not above or below. This person said he/she was having a hard enough time just with feeling "not less than" - that it was a daily struggle. I have a lot of respect for this person and I hope he/she starts to feel more comfortable inside where it counts.
I've heard a lot of sermons on Romans 12:1,2. Present your bodies a living sacrifice, ... don't be conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. But not many talk about the very next statement. Paul goes on to say, "I say to you, by the grace of God which is given to me, not to think of yourselves more highly than you ought to think, but to think soberly, since God has granted to all the measure of faith." (vs. 3) Did you get that? Paul is telling people not to get too full of themselves, but he's also implying that they ought to think SOMETHING of themselves!!
This flies in the face of a lot of church tradition which passes itself off as doctrine. You know, the "such a worm as I" doctrine. If a person is self-assured (another word this individual mentioned to me today, more about that later) that person is often judged by some in the church as being prideful or arrogant. But Paul didn't say to not think anything of ourselves. Just not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. Paul knew, as Jesus did before him, that a healthy self-concept is necessary in order for us to be able to love our neighbours as we love ourselves. The thing is, a healthy self-concept is a lot easier when we can believe and accept the great love of God for us.
The term "self-assured" (which earlier today my friend mentioned to me) speaks of someone who is comfortable in his or her own skin. But the word literally means that one has assured oneself, or spoken assurances to oneself. I remember having to do this in my journey of recovery the last 22 months. Daily at one point. I've written about that period in my life before on this blog - the daily affirmations of worthiness, of value, of hope, that I had to say over and over to the frightened little 6-year-old child in me, the child who thought she was such as screw-up, the one who was always told she couldn't do anything right.
Those days are behind me, and the voices I heard in my head, the ones that told me I was defective, crazy, or bad, are reduced to a murmur rather than a shout. When they get louder, that's when I know I have to start talking to that little girl again.
She's learning that she's not less than. It's a pretty cool feeling.
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