In Quietness and Confidence

Whenever my mind is in turmoil and my thoughts in a vortex, when I'm either (as one friend put it) futurizing or pasteurizing instead of living in and appreciating the Now, I find it helpful to go to a quiet place, even if only in my mind.

I have a variety of vehicles to get there.  One is music, another is art, another is the beauty of Nature; still another is just ... quietness.

Even as a quiet person by nature, I had to train myself to be quiet in the way that I needed to be in order to thrive spiritually.  The pressures and demands of the day were just too much for me to handle and often I would attend to the urgent while neglecting the most important things: developing relationship with God, looking after my spiritual condition, spending time with people of like mind and faith, and reaching out to those with whom God led me to share.

As a result I got stressed, harried, and close to burnout, which is where I stayed for weeks, months at a time.  I felt that if I just pushed myself a little more, had more coffee, stayed up a little later, that things would improve. But I ended up having less time for the things that were important than if I'd just taken the time to put those things first.

First things first, as the saying goes.  The tendency is always there for me to rush around inside my head, thinking of a million different things that would be nice, but which are not essential to my spiritual growth or to the path of healing He has laid out for me.  I need to let go of my need to control things, to finagle my way into getting what I want, and let God do what He wants in my life.  Usually that involves me being honest ... first with Him and with myself, then with others.  When I do, much of the turmoil is replaced with peace.

Once in a while, God reminds me that all the things I think are so important are really only urgent.  The urgency of these things will pass if I just let go.  Just relinquish my hold on them.  Many of them simply fade away into nothingness. 

When I discipline myself to get alone with Him and turn my wants and the rule of my life over to Him on a continual basis, He works things out, often in the most amazing ways and in spite of (sometimes even because of) my own failings.  Through it all, He faithfully keeps reminding me that my strength is in Him, that the power to live my life is found in quietness and in confidence, and that as long as I have my attention focused on Him and let Him do His work unhindered, knowing He has my best interests at heart, I have nothing to fear.  And peace just comes.