Practicing Kindness

Kindness is an art.  It really is.  

In order to get good at it ... it has to be practiced.  

I sometimes wonder why there has to be suffering in the world.  While I don't claim in the least to have it all figured out, I do think that one of the reasons is that it gives people who are blessed with good health or perhaps more money, to be kind to those who aren't.

For those of you who know me, or who have been following my blog or my posts on Facebook, you know that I suffer from MCS - Multiple Chemical Sensitivity.  It's an insidious, debilitating disease that has nothing to do with allergies and everything to do with toxins: neurotoxins to be exact.  Modern scented products contain them: petrochemicals and aldehydes that are used to make artificial scent.  I've tried and tried to get the message out but it keeps getting interpreted as, "Judy doesn't like perfume."  (sighhh)  

The thing is, up until about ten years ago, I used to WEAR the stuff.  Then it started making me sneeze, giving me headaches, etc.  And after 2003's Hurricane Juan put mould in our basement, it got way worse. And even worse after Tropical Storm Hannah (2008, November) did the same thing, only the mould stayed for a longer period. After Hannah hit, so did the migraines - five minutes' constant exposure would give me a six-hour migraine. (Ever hurt yourself so badly that you felt sick to your stomach? Imagine that kind of hurt in your head and neck for hours at a time).  I had to wear a mask anywhere I went just to keep the normal perfumes from Febreeze and other room deodorizers or fabric softeners to a dull roar.  Even with the mask, someone who used body spray would inevitably walk by and leave a cloud 15 feet in diameter behind them.  And no mask can filter that out - unless it's the kind you get in a Haz-Mat suit.  

People ostracized me thinking I had H1N1 - or that I was trying to be sensationalist and make a point.  Some pitied me; others judged me.  One time I complained of scent at a worship team practice because of one or more of the members.  Rather than apologize and promise not to use it anymore, the collective decision was to stop everything and pray for my healing.  Hm.  Did I feel heard - or loved?  Uh - no.

Trapped?  Oh yes.  Even after a single healing experience got rid of about 70% of the intensity of my reactions in a moment of time on November 6, 2009, I still have to watch my level of exposure because if I am exposed too long, it's still decidedly unpleasant.  I take a kelating agent (magnesium citrate) to bind with the poisons and flush them out of my system, but this mineral works slowly and exposure to chemicals (to use an analogy) tops up my chemical intolerance tank faster than the little leak at the bottom can drain it. So I still need to stay away from scented products to be healthy.  Much easier said than done.  It's everywhere.

Why wasn't I just healed completely?  I'm not sure exactly.  But maybe it was so that I'd keep my passion about this issue strong. Maybe, just maybe, it was to make me continually grateful that things are not nearly as bad as they were, and to allow me to be able to confront my own anger at the people who persist in using chemicals to mask their own natural scent.  Everyone has his or her own, by the way.  Just saying. Maybe it was to make any future healing that I might receive, all the more miraculous because so many people have seen and are aware of the plight of those who suffer from this illness.  Most suffer way more than I.

And maybe it was to give an opportunity for other people (Christians especially) to practice (instead of judgment) the art of kindness - sadly, almost a lost art.