Tuesday, May 3, 2011

You're the only you you have - Be you!

It's so easy to slip into a role and hide my true self from people.  For years I thought that nobody would like the real me so I hid myself, showing people what I thought they wanted.  For decades I pretended, berated myself when I had any kind of emotion - apologized for it.  All my life I was under the impression that I wasn't allowed to have an opinion, or needs, or dreams.


Until relatively recently of course.  

In all that hiding from myself, from my feelings, from people who might hurt me if I let them know what I thought or wanted - I lost myself.  I didn't know who I was anymore...if I ever knew.

God used an incredible set of circumstances (certainly not one I would have chosen) to rip off the facade and allow the real me to emerge. I had to get desperate enough to go to any length to find the one thing I had longed for but which had eluded me all my life:  a sense of peace and happiness.

Allowing God to unwrap that person was not easy.  There were some real issues to face - and I know that I was empowered to do that because I had tried to change on my own and failed miserably.

Now I feel as though another chapter has been started in my life and that there are exciting things ahead. Even the last 3 to 4 weeks have been so incredible in opening new doors previously tight shut to me in so many areas.  Work, family, ministry, and even my writing have taken on new dimension for me and I have a great sense of anticipation as the days unfold.  The healing has only begun; the possibilities are beyond what I can imagine.

I have no clue what path God has planned out for me. But I suspect that it will be an adventure.

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