I think I read this somewhere. When a person who doesn't know much about computers makes a simple (beginner's) mistake on a computer, the computer-literate call it an "I. D. Ten T." Error. When written in alphanumeric language, that is an ID10T Error.
Perhaps ID10T errors could be identified in the real (non-computer, relational) world:
- telling someone else's secret after promising to maintain confidentiality
- laughing at or diminishing someone else's pain to make them look bad or stupid
- climbing over someone else's back (or front) on the way up the corporate ladder
- using sarcasm and/or ridicule as a motivational tool
- micromanaging / being obsessed with controlling every last little thing
- blaming everyone else for one's mistakes and not taking responsibility for one's actions
- defending the rights of one minority group only to turn around and support the majority against a different minority (example from the schoolyard: defending the kid with Down Syndrome only to turn around and ostracize the shy kid)
- overreacting / judging out of previous bad experiences rather than listening to another's perspective
- being too eager to "help" someone with their "problem" thus creating either resentment or dependence in them...
... and the list goes on.
I've made some of these mistakes, quite probably all of them at some point or other in my life. Everyone's probably made at least some of them. The question is, what to do about them? or can anything be done about them which won't make matters worse?
All I can do is be aware that they happen and just let go of my need to take things too personally. To let myself off the hook when I screw up. To let others off the hook when they screw up without realizing it. And all the while, to not apologize for having feelings, living my life, having needs, or taking up space in the world. These are core values that have been overdue in their development.
And maybe I'll be more careful to catch myself and others NOT making ID10T errors - and be consciously grateful.
Perhaps ID10T errors could be identified in the real (non-computer, relational) world:
- telling someone else's secret after promising to maintain confidentiality
- laughing at or diminishing someone else's pain to make them look bad or stupid
- climbing over someone else's back (or front) on the way up the corporate ladder
- using sarcasm and/or ridicule as a motivational tool
- micromanaging / being obsessed with controlling every last little thing
- blaming everyone else for one's mistakes and not taking responsibility for one's actions
- defending the rights of one minority group only to turn around and support the majority against a different minority (example from the schoolyard: defending the kid with Down Syndrome only to turn around and ostracize the shy kid)
- overreacting / judging out of previous bad experiences rather than listening to another's perspective
- being too eager to "help" someone with their "problem" thus creating either resentment or dependence in them...
... and the list goes on.
I've made some of these mistakes, quite probably all of them at some point or other in my life. Everyone's probably made at least some of them. The question is, what to do about them? or can anything be done about them which won't make matters worse?
All I can do is be aware that they happen and just let go of my need to take things too personally. To let myself off the hook when I screw up. To let others off the hook when they screw up without realizing it. And all the while, to not apologize for having feelings, living my life, having needs, or taking up space in the world. These are core values that have been overdue in their development.
And maybe I'll be more careful to catch myself and others NOT making ID10T errors - and be consciously grateful.
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