I heard an old joke once that made me think, and then think some more.
A couple who had been married for 25 years was watching a romantic scene on television when the wife became troubled.
"What's wrong?" asked her husband.
"You never tell me that you love me."
"Well ... when I married you 25 years ago, did I tell you I loved you then?"
"Of course you did."
"So... if I change my mind, I'll let you know."
A long time ago, we decided that we wouldn't be like that couple. That we would tell each other - frequently - that we loved each other. Tell ... and show. Not with big expensive gifts or hiring violinists or a mariachi band to play at our table (apologies to musicians of all stripes for pairing those) but simply by reminding each other how precious each is to the other. Because - let's face it - we forget. Life happens, it gets in the way, and we forget.
Now that both of us are in recovery, and on this road of healing together, the assurances of love mean even more. We have made special efforts to connect with each other so that someday, when the kids are living lives out there independent from us, we won't wonder who that person is across the breakfast table from us. It will just keep getting better because it's been getting better ever since we first fell in love over 30 years ago. If that sounds sappy, then I have only one thing to say : GOOD. Life here on earth is so very short, and it goes faster and faster as we get closer to the end. Seizing the day is essential. It doesn't matter if we told each other we loved each other yesterday. We say it, and mean it, again today. And all the todays.
One comedian said that he'd been told the secret to happiness in marriage. He got it from his dad just before he got married, and it rescued a lot of situations for him where he was undecided as to what to do.
Four words, said as the father gazed into his son's eyes.
"Happy wife, happy life."
Of course that's only half of the equation. (Hint hint ladies.) Seeking the happiness and pleasure of the other person, telling and showing love. Simple, isn't it.
So even if they've heard it before ... tell 'em again.
A couple who had been married for 25 years was watching a romantic scene on television when the wife became troubled.
"What's wrong?" asked her husband.
"You never tell me that you love me."
"Well ... when I married you 25 years ago, did I tell you I loved you then?"
"Of course you did."
"So... if I change my mind, I'll let you know."
A long time ago, we decided that we wouldn't be like that couple. That we would tell each other - frequently - that we loved each other. Tell ... and show. Not with big expensive gifts or hiring violinists or a mariachi band to play at our table (apologies to musicians of all stripes for pairing those) but simply by reminding each other how precious each is to the other. Because - let's face it - we forget. Life happens, it gets in the way, and we forget.
One comedian said that he'd been told the secret to happiness in marriage. He got it from his dad just before he got married, and it rescued a lot of situations for him where he was undecided as to what to do.
Four words, said as the father gazed into his son's eyes.
"Happy wife, happy life."
Of course that's only half of the equation. (Hint hint ladies.) Seeking the happiness and pleasure of the other person, telling and showing love. Simple, isn't it.
So even if they've heard it before ... tell 'em again.
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