Me Time

It's been a long time since I've done some of the things I love to do.  Partly that's because I'm no longer in any physical shape to do them - but of the things I CAN still do, I still don't do the majority.  

Why is it that I find it so difficult to make some "me time"??  I think it's because there's still this hanger-on belief from my childhood that I'm not worth anything and so what I want is immaterial.  When I was a young parent, this fit in perfectly with all the self-sacrifice needed to meet the needs of small children.  After a while, though, as they were better able to look after themselves, the children's welfare became more an excuse than a reason.
 
So it begs the question: what now?

I could spend my time bemoaning what I can no longer do because of age, weight, schedules, work, and outside commitments.  And it would be true.  But it wouldn't solve the problem, which is that I need to allow myself to carve out some dedicated time for me.  Starting with what I can do right now.

Setting aside time to read a book, to play an instrument and / or sing, or even go for a walk (if not outside, at the very least in a mall or up and down the stairs at home a couple of times) is something I can do on a regular basis in order to tell my psyche that I am worth spending time with and for.  It fills my emotional tank and lets me give to others out of a place of fulness. 

And more than that, starting where I am, being faithful to myself in the little things, perhaps it won't be long before I will be able to do the things I can't yet accomplish - - because at this moment in time I'm too heavy, out of shape, old, or what have you.

I don't need to give up on those dreams.  

They might have to wait for a while.  Okay, I can live with that.  But in order to achieve even some of them, I need to remind myself to keep doing what I can do to take care of me.  I have to say to myself, "I'm important.  What I want to do - what I like to do - is worth doing."

I can trust my loved ones to do the same, to look after themselves.  I can ask them for the time I need to care for my own needs and pursue my aspirations.  Finding the courage to do that will be not be easy; however, I've already prayed for "... courage to change the things I can..." and all I will need to do is take stock of my daily life, step out of my non-essential routines and into something that is healthy for me to do. 

Deep breath.  Let's give this a whirl.