Helping Hearts

I made a phone call this evening to talk to someone.  The person I called to talk to was not there.  Another person answered and I had a choice - to make an excuse and just call back later when the person was home, or to reach out to the one on the other end of the line.

It turned out to be one of the most honest conversations I've had with this fellow.  He was telling me about the things he struggles with, which are the same things I have dealt with (and still do at times) over the last 2 years. Same issues, same people.  Same feelings.

Near the end of the conversation, he apologized to me for unburdening himself on me, didn't intend to spill it all out like he did.  He said that I had already dealt with my inner demons and I didn't need to hear about his, to dredge up old memories.  

All I could see was how much he needed to get it off his chest, to express how he felt to someone who understood, someone who could (and would) tell him that his feelings are perfectly normal for what he's going through.  It was so clear to me how God arranged this whole things so that we could talk for an hour when we wouldn't normally get that chance (at least not honestly) with the other person there.

I think I was able to express to him that it's like I've been through this same process, this journey - and I've come a little farther on it and come mostly out the other side of it - but the fact that I've been through it helps me to reach back to where he is and let him know that it does get better.  As long as he doesn't give up.  And he told me that he wasn't going to give up.

I don't think he'd believe me if I were to tell him that the things I have worked through, the things that were so very hurtful and frustrating for me 2 years ago, don't have the power they once did to continue to wound me.  He'll learn it on his own as he goes through his process, learns that people can accept him for himself, and lets people be who they are, including himself, without the need to feel responsible for the actions and emotions of others.

And maybe we'll both learn to stand up and say no - without getting hostile - when we feel that someone else is forcing his or her agenda on us.  We're getting there, to that inner place of serenity, of self-acceptance, of feeling that we have the right to exist, to take up space in the world.  Hopefully sooner than later.