It happens every December. People get psyched up for Christmas, young and old, with a flurry of activity: social, culinary, and shopping-related, and it all comes to a head on the 25th of December. After that, it's like the air being let out of a balloon. Enthusiasm deflates. And people face reality. Some face truckloads of debt that it will take all year to repay. Others feel like they need to take a steamshovel and a hose to their house - or their lives - and clear out all the stuff and/or guilt that has been accumulated over the past few weeks/days. Still others have been hoping for some sort of emotional miracle or breakthrough with a significant other ... that never happened. And then there are those who have thoroughly enjoyed the season only to have family and friends return to their own routines and leave them with all those decorations to put away - and loneliness and self-pity creep in and wrap their cold fingers around their hearts again.
C. S. Lewis noted in his book, "The Screwtape Letters" that humans are cyclical beings - that is, we all experience a normal ebb and flow of emotion, and this is normal. Some believe that a person should be "up" all the time and feel guilty or somehow defective when they inevitably feel "down" - this is something that the enemy of our souls can capitalize upon to make us doubt ourselves, to doubt whether we are loved and/or cared for by God. The truth is, however, that people do have ups and downs, that there is a natural rhythm to our emotional lives. Accepting that, feeling what we feel honestly, and then moving on, is a healthy response to this natural phenomenon.
It's when we deny what we feel and lie to ourselves (and others) about it, pretend to be fine and act like everything is just peachy - that we are in dysfunction, that we put ourselves under undue stress, and that our bodies (if kept too long in that state of dishonesty) will react by making us sick, or in pain.
Of course we can stave off the dark specter of being let down by taking care of ourselves, looking after our inner life first instead of always taking what's left over. If we look after ourselves regularly, the "downs" don't tend to go as low or last as long. They still do happen, though. Denying that, living the lie of saying that it doesn't exist, only serves to deepen those "down" times and shorten the "up" times. We find ourselves wondering just how long the happiness will last, which robs us of the joy of it - and wondering how long the sadness will last, making it last longer. Instead of living in the moment, we worry about the future. Or we regret the poor choices of the past.
How much better it is to just be who we are and feel what we feel in honest relationship with God, ourselves, and others. How much more healthy it is to accept ourselves the way we are without berating ourselves and falling prey to the "shoulds" which some folks try and make stick to our spirits, either by criticism and condemnation or praise and applause. I have spoken about this externally-based self-esteem before - see my post called "You Are Special" - it really pinpoints the dangers of getting our sense of worth from other people's opinions, and highlights the necessity of spending time nurturing our own spirits. At such times, we can get "let down" far more quickly because our spirits are underfed, running on empty, depleted, whatever you want to call it.
As the year ends ... perhaps it's time to consider spending more of our time doing the important things, before the urgent things steal those moments from us and leave us with more seasons where we are drained of energy. It doesn't have to be super complicated. It can be as simple as carving out time in the run of a day to read an inspirational reading - or go for a drive to see our favorite kind of scenery - or listen to a song - or talk to a good friend - or go for a walk - or put in a good movie and watch it. Or we can even do something creative that we enjoy doing, like baking ... or painting ... whatever it is.
Let's just do it.
It's when we deny what we feel and lie to ourselves (and others) about it, pretend to be fine and act like everything is just peachy - that we are in dysfunction, that we put ourselves under undue stress, and that our bodies (if kept too long in that state of dishonesty) will react by making us sick, or in pain.
Of course we can stave off the dark specter of being let down by taking care of ourselves, looking after our inner life first instead of always taking what's left over. If we look after ourselves regularly, the "downs" don't tend to go as low or last as long. They still do happen, though. Denying that, living the lie of saying that it doesn't exist, only serves to deepen those "down" times and shorten the "up" times. We find ourselves wondering just how long the happiness will last, which robs us of the joy of it - and wondering how long the sadness will last, making it last longer. Instead of living in the moment, we worry about the future. Or we regret the poor choices of the past.
How much better it is to just be who we are and feel what we feel in honest relationship with God, ourselves, and others. How much more healthy it is to accept ourselves the way we are without berating ourselves and falling prey to the "shoulds" which some folks try and make stick to our spirits, either by criticism and condemnation or praise and applause. I have spoken about this externally-based self-esteem before - see my post called "You Are Special" - it really pinpoints the dangers of getting our sense of worth from other people's opinions, and highlights the necessity of spending time nurturing our own spirits. At such times, we can get "let down" far more quickly because our spirits are underfed, running on empty, depleted, whatever you want to call it.
As the year ends ... perhaps it's time to consider spending more of our time doing the important things, before the urgent things steal those moments from us and leave us with more seasons where we are drained of energy. It doesn't have to be super complicated. It can be as simple as carving out time in the run of a day to read an inspirational reading - or go for a drive to see our favorite kind of scenery - or listen to a song - or talk to a good friend - or go for a walk - or put in a good movie and watch it. Or we can even do something creative that we enjoy doing, like baking ... or painting ... whatever it is.
Let's just do it.
Self-confidence requires people to be confident in themselves without the support of other people's opinions. http://goo.gl/cjCdy
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