Monday, April 16, 2012


Those unspoken prayers - the ones we don't dare pray but which our hearts cannot help but feel - are the most potent. 

This past weekend, my heart was praying such a prayer.  I was tired.  Bone-tired. Weary. Fed up.  I felt unappreciated, attacked, undervalued, and like I needed to be constantly on my guard.  I'd even taken over a day off last week with symptoms that mimicked a cold - stress-related fatigue was all it was, apparently.  All weekend long I "vegged" and slept when I needed to.  Even with the extra sleep, I was not looking forward to being with people and avoided it until the last possible minute.

So ... I dragged myself to work this morning, dreading another week - yes, I saw the whole week stretching interminably in front of me instead of one day - another week of doing my best only to have it questioned, of pouring my heart and soul into my work only to have someone criticize it.  

As I usually do after an absence, I checked my plants to see if they needed watering.

And I saw a flash of a color I didn't expect - white - nestled among the leaves of my peace lily.  One tiny blossom was starting to emerge from the depths of the plant - a peace lily's quiet way of saying, "I like it here." 

From :
Now, this plant was one with which I had a special affinity.  Once a large and luxurious plant with plenty of foliage and lots of beautiful white blooms, it had slowly become pot-bound and I had to perform surgery on it last summer.  I divided it into four plants and gave three of them away; I kept only one.  It looked so small and alone - in my own mind, a shadow of its former self.

Like I have been feeling of late.  Insignificant, lonely.  Plain.  Overlooked.  Stunted. I wondered if it would ever recover.  Or if my own inner transformation would become visible, if it was only a figment of my imagination.

And then, today.  

I hadn't been expecting the still, small whisper of the Divine.  But as I peered into the depths of the leaves where this small tip of a bud was forming, I heard it.  

"You are not alone.  There is hope." 

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