Appearances can be deceiving. People are multi-faceted. Often there are hidden treasures laying beneath the surface for those who are willing to invest the time it takes to get to know someone. Even when you think you know someone, and have known them for several years, they can still surprise you with yet another facet.
But there are times when I assume that I know something about someone and that is set in stone, and I can miss something important, something wonderful, about that person. And I suspect that it happens to other people when they look at me. A few times in my life, I have demonstrated a latent ability that others didn't expect from me, and I have seen eyebrows raise in shock.
Taking a very simple example from the physical world, ... okay - I'm obese. I know I'm obese. Yet there are times when I see a passageway toward which I and another person are approaching ... and I honestly think both of us can fit through at the same time. That's because I still think of myself as this tiny slip of a thing I used to be when I was eight. I didn't start gaining weight until I was in my 20's and so my natural 'default' body image is one of someone who takes up almost no space. So when I head into the passageway and the other person waits for me - it's a reminder. (Oh yeah, crap. I don't look like that anymore; I can't do those things anymore.)
The same with my default personality-image. My self-esteem, my way of thinking about the kind of person I am defaults to that scared, needy, clingy, manipulative complainer all too quickly. When I act out of that head-space, I feel myself sliding inside, feeling two-dimensional: something just cringes and feels all oily and soiled. When I become aware, and do a quick inventory of my attitudes, I realize it's because I've gone back into that muck and mire of the old life. The answer for me is to realize that's what has happened, admit it to myself and to God, ask for His help, and then in faith to stop the mindset and begin to really live life intentionally instead of coasting.
Sometimes I have no clue where I'm going or what I'm doing. Okay, most times I don't. That's when I go back to my newly-discovered (yet ages-old) maxim of "One Day at a Time" and trust that God is doing for me what I can't do for myself. He sees all the fragmented pieces as a complete whole and someday, He'll let me see it as well.
It's awareness that is the key to living an "intentional" life - a choice-based life, rather than one just run on "auto-pilot." But it's trust in something - a Power - greater than ourselves that allows us to turn that key and unlock from a lifetime of coasting in sheer "me-ness."
Identifying those old self-destructive patterns and their sources is extremely hard; I am not going to sugar-coat it. The process is far from easy and it takes a lot longer than desired. Often someone on this road of healing doesn't know the next step, much less what lies around the next bend in the road (if there even is one). But with perseverance, commitment to being aware of those things and rooting them out ... the way does clear, the thicket thins out, and there is a growing light along the way - plus a surprise that I for one never expected.
Happiness.
But there are times when I assume that I know something about someone and that is set in stone, and I can miss something important, something wonderful, about that person. And I suspect that it happens to other people when they look at me. A few times in my life, I have demonstrated a latent ability that others didn't expect from me, and I have seen eyebrows raise in shock.
Taking a very simple example from the physical world, ... okay - I'm obese. I know I'm obese. Yet there are times when I see a passageway toward which I and another person are approaching ... and I honestly think both of us can fit through at the same time. That's because I still think of myself as this tiny slip of a thing I used to be when I was eight. I didn't start gaining weight until I was in my 20's and so my natural 'default' body image is one of someone who takes up almost no space. So when I head into the passageway and the other person waits for me - it's a reminder. (Oh yeah, crap. I don't look like that anymore; I can't do those things anymore.)
The same with my default personality-image. My self-esteem, my way of thinking about the kind of person I am defaults to that scared, needy, clingy, manipulative complainer all too quickly. When I act out of that head-space, I feel myself sliding inside, feeling two-dimensional: something just cringes and feels all oily and soiled. When I become aware, and do a quick inventory of my attitudes, I realize it's because I've gone back into that muck and mire of the old life. The answer for me is to realize that's what has happened, admit it to myself and to God, ask for His help, and then in faith to stop the mindset and begin to really live life intentionally instead of coasting.
It's awareness that is the key to living an "intentional" life - a choice-based life, rather than one just run on "auto-pilot." But it's trust in something - a Power - greater than ourselves that allows us to turn that key and unlock from a lifetime of coasting in sheer "me-ness."
Identifying those old self-destructive patterns and their sources is extremely hard; I am not going to sugar-coat it. The process is far from easy and it takes a lot longer than desired. Often someone on this road of healing doesn't know the next step, much less what lies around the next bend in the road (if there even is one). But with perseverance, commitment to being aware of those things and rooting them out ... the way does clear, the thicket thins out, and there is a growing light along the way - plus a surprise that I for one never expected.
Happiness.
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