Face-plant

I fell down yesterday. 

It was totally avoidable. I wasn't watching where I was stepping. And I landed face first in the dirt with a skinned knee, a bruised elbow, and a bump on my right cheekbone. 

The reasons for my fall (I could call them excuses) were that someone left the garden hose in a high-traffic area, I was distracted by trying to focus on the dog who was anxious to make his way to the yard to do his business, and the path was fairly narrow. However, I could have avoided the situation if I had just been more careful about where I placed my feet. So, I take full responsibility for my error. 

The end result was that I was flat on my stomach with my face in the dirt, pebbles and grass, about 2 feet from an outdoor garbage can, and I felt helpless to right myself. 

The dog did his best to help. Unfortunately, his version of helping was prancing around my head and licking my face until I could hardly breathe. 

No help there.

I'd been in that position for about 2 minutes (it felt like longer) when I heard the door open and someone step out onto the deck above me. He told me later that he didn't even know I was down there until he moved closer to the railing and saw my white Crocs upside down on the pavement (my feet still in them.) Then he saw my legs and oh-my-gosh-are-you-all-right? he was there in no time flat. "Can you get up?" he asked. "I think so," I stammered, "but the dog wants to help me and I don't want to hurt him ..." 

He laughed, "I can see that," and picked up the leash. He held the dog back while I got to my hands and knees and then got my feet under me and stood up. He offered his arm to lean on as I pulled myself to my feet.

Without his help, I would not have been able to get out of my predicament. So I was (and am) extremely grateful for him coming to my aid.  I made sure to thank him sincerely. After that, we started joking around about it. Laughing privately after the fact helped me not feel so embarrassed.

Sometimes, whether by their own fault or not, people need help and not judgment or criticism. That was one instance.

My would-be hero. NOT!   ;)

When someone makes a mistake and needs help to get out of a jam, it could be very easy to ridicule or find fault. "You should not have done that" can be reserved for after the crisis ... or not said at all, how about that? My benefactor was more interested in whether I was hurt than whose fault it was that I fell. I like that. It confirmed to me the fact that he cares about me. When an examination revealed that my glasses were also bent in the fall, he drove me to the optician's office to get them fixed (which they did, thank you very much!) 

So in spite of the aches and pains I had later in the day, and in spite of the embarrassment of the fall, and the vulnerability, and the silly behavior of the dog, and the extra trip to town, I could look back on the day and call it a good one. Why? because in spite of it all, I knew I was loved, cared for, and appreciated.  I was not angry at the dog for preventing me from getting up or for distracting me. I was determined not to let my attention wander like that again, and grateful that I didn't sprain my ankle, and that's it. 

That's all. A fast fall on the hard-packed, dusty ground, a bit of road rash on one knee, and the helping hand of my best friend. What could be more simple than that?  

Perhaps the next time I see someone in a helpless position, whether by accident or not, I will not be so quick to judge, and quicker to just lend a hand. 

Keeping Christmas

"And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!" - A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

I know, I know. It's too soon to talk about Christmas for most of my readers. Notable exceptions exist of course (Anne, Stephanie, I'm talking to you wonderful ladies!)

I used the above quote because when people refer to someone as a Scrooge, they mean the miserly old skin-flint in the "before" picture and not of the "after." In the same way, a "Grinch" is a mean-spirited, selfish person who hates Christmas. Yet in the story by Dr. Seuss, "the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day" and he ended up being sweet and generous! 

Christmas 2014 - everyone gets in on the fun!

When I was a little kid, I heard stories of my dad waking my mom up at 3:30 a.m. just because it was Christmas. He couldn't wait to see our faces when we opened our presents, to see the wonder and hear the laughter of that day. It was his favorite day of the year. And he didn't get anything else out of the day. We had no money to give him a present. His joy, his Christmas spirit, came from giving to those who had no way to return the favor. 

What a wonderful feeling that is! I've had occasion - here and there - to experience that kind of excitement in anticipation of someone opening a gift that I have made or bought for them. It is truly magical. And it doesn't matter if it's for Christmas, or their birthday, or even "just because." I don't expect anything in return. It just blesses me to bits to be able to give to them something that they need or want - that they like - and that they will cherish and use. 

So, perhaps we can "keep Christmas" all year round. Wouldn't that be great? If everyone had that spirit of gratitude, generosity and goodwill all year, how much sweeter life would be! Folks would be much easier to get along with ... as long as there was no trace of obligation or duty involved ... and therefore, no mad rushing about in the stores, no impatience in parking lots, or any of that. 

How much fuller life would feel with that kind of attitude - to give is better than to receive - present not just at Christmas but every day? How it would transform each of us to find joy in giving to those who have no hope of ever paying us back (which isn't the point anyway)!! Hungry, homeless people, people with hardly two nickels (or tuppence) to rub together, could eat, be warm, and have their daily needs met through the generosity of those who love to give! 

Isn't that worth more than getting the latest gadget for ourselves? 
I'll leave that thought with you, as it has been burning in me. 

And happy Christmas to you!

Thanks Giving

Our family celebrates Thanksgiving twice a year: once on the 2nd Monday in October (or thereabouts) and once on the 4th Thursday in November (or more likely, the Saturday right after that.) 

Thanksgiving is huge at our house, especially when it comes to food. There's turkey with all the trimmings (dressing, carrots, squash, mashed potatoes, gravy), two kinds of pie, and usually we like to share our "groaning table" (and when we are done eating we sure ARE groaning) with one or two other people.

We take some time to share the things for which we are most grateful - family, friends, this or that circumstance, and other things that we've been thinking about lately. 

Tips and tricks for preparing for a holiday meal here

There are so many ways to express thanks, to show gratitude for the blessings we have in our country, in our society, in our local area - not just at Thanksgiving, but much more frequently than that. 

People can donate money to a good cause. They can attend a church service and give thanks that way. They can wear a specific color or participate in a fund-raiser. They can organize a community potluck. 

But by far the easiest - and yet the most under-used - way is to just contact someone who is or has done something special, and say, "Thank you." 

That's it. Just a heart-felt verbal expression of gratefulness. What could be simpler? 

Apparently it's very difficult for some folks. The words just won't come! Given the choice between telling someone how much he or she means ... and paying him or her money ... you guessed it. They prefer to pay rather than say. 

My take on that is that the feelings are the most important thing. Expressing the feelings runs a close second. After that, giving someone money - if a person really feels the need to do that - needs to be a confirmation of verbally expressed (or written) appreciation. 

And finally, the other part of thanksgiving is the attitude of giving: giving without any expectation of recompense or reward, no strings attached. Part of the reason so many people dread the holidays is that there are so many expectations - so many you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-yours assumptions. Reciprocity is a great idea when it's the idea of the person wanting to repay someone for a kindness done. However, when reciprocity (the expectation of repayment in kind) is the basis for a relationship, resentments can build when one party doesn't meet the other's expectations.

I remember one fellow who was well-known for the parties he had at his home for various members of his social group. I knew this man and so I asked him why he'd never invited us to his place. "Because you've never had us over," was his simple - and quick - reply. His response made me think about the political game involved in giving - a game that is most obvious at Christmas, but which is played every day of the year by so many people. And meanwhile, those who have no self-esteem hesitate to even approach someone else ... but I digress. 

My main point is that there needs to be both thanks and giving in Thanksgiving. 

Every day.

The Gift of Giving

This time of year, it's all around us... the idea of gifts and giving, presents and receiving.  

When we're small, we get very excited about the receiving part.  Okay, it's fun to get gifts, especially those ones that show that the person put some thought into it.  There's no denying it!

Source: (through Google Images)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/ethicallivingblog
/2008/dec/04/christmas

But as we grow up, we start to understand that there is a real gift in giving. There is such intrinsic reward in watching someone receive and appreciate a gift we've taken the time to pick out for him or her.  Whether it's the wonder on a child's face - or a tear of joy from a lonely old aunt - we start to learn the truth behind the saying, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."  

Not the obligatory kind, of course.  There's no enjoyment in that, only the repayment of an unspoken but very real debt.  Folks that use the gift-giving as a means of one-upmanship spoil the whole idea.   But real giving - the kind the other person doesn't expect and can't repay - is thrilling. It's a gift that gives back to the giver a hundredfold in satisfaction and happiness.  We were designed to enjoy it by One who knows the joy of giving.  

I could preach right now.  But I won't.

Christmas Spirit

Well, it finally happened.

I've been waiting for it to happen all season and even yesterday I looked inside myself ... and aside from a few emotional moments during the candlelight service - Christmas was a flop. Quite disappointing in fact.  

Nobody felt like singing after the service as we went out to see the lights.  In fact, people had toned down their displays to cope with this financial / economic crisis.  I felt cheated.  Disappointed.  Gypped.  There was definitely something missing.  My daughter tried to tell me it was because there was no snow.  She loves snow at Christmas and it's been a thorn in her side that there has not been any snow this season. 

But snow has never been all that important to me, less and less as I get older.  No, this was something different.  The spark hadn't come yet.  It usually arrives for me long before the Day hits.  

This year .... nope.  Nothing stood out.  And I couldn't drum up any enthusiasm whatsoever.

But when I got up this morning and went to the living room, the youngest and her boyfriend were up.  They'd been up all night.  And something was different in the room.  There was another present there, a huge heavy box wrapped in gold paper with a gigantic red bow on top (see the photo - it's on the left!)  I looked at my daughter.  "Is that what I think it is?"  She beamed.  "You found it?  How did you get it home without him knowing?"  


She nodded.  "Taxi."  And she grinned again.

You see, she had told me what she was going to get her dad for Christmas with her own chore money: a certain particular type of circular saw... but the store was all out of that type.  She told me her dilemma and I said to keep calling them until they had more.

As I stared at the shiny yellow box and realized all she had done to make her dad's day, that's when it happened. I caught myself grinning as I imagined her and her boyfriend  manhandling it upstairs after we went to bed last night.

And that's when it hit me.  There - that feeling of bubbly excitement, that anticipation, that special warm feeling known as the Christmas Spirit.  It's the spirit of giving, the one that takes joy in another's happiness.

Once that started, everything started to snowball.  (Pardon the winter pun.)

The Christmas carols were more special around the tree.  And best of all, it was a treat to hear my hubby reading the Christmas story from Luke 2.  Just two Christmases ago, the pain of his addiction and the uncertainty of what would happen next outweighed the pleasure of the presents and the carols.  As I listened to him read, it was so special... the feeling intensified.


We all opened gifts - one by one so that the giver could see the look on the recipient's face when he/she opened a present.  And then all the gifts were opened except one - the big gold box in the corner.  

Someone dragged and pushed the box over to my hubby; he couldn't quite believe that it was for him.  Disbelief changed to wonder as he tore off the wrapping and revealed the prize underneath, worth two months of savings by his little girl.  

I told him that it was all her idea, her money, and she even arranged for transport when he was away on errands. 

He was blown away.  It was by far the best present of the morning... the highlight of the gift-opening portion of the day.  For everyone.  And in less than an hour, he had the box open and put the saw up on his lap.  The best photo of the day!


Shortly after that ... (bonus!!)    ...  it started to snow....