Our family celebrates Thanksgiving twice a year: once on the 2nd Monday in October (or thereabouts) and once on the 4th Thursday in November (or more likely, the Saturday right after that.)
Thanksgiving is huge at our house, especially when it comes to food. There's turkey with all the trimmings (dressing, carrots, squash, mashed potatoes, gravy), two kinds of pie, and usually we like to share our "groaning table" (and when we are done eating we sure ARE groaning) with one or two other people.
We take some time to share the things for which we are most grateful - family, friends, this or that circumstance, and other things that we've been thinking about lately.
There are so many ways to express thanks, to show gratitude for the blessings we have in our country, in our society, in our local area - not just at Thanksgiving, but much more frequently than that.
People can donate money to a good cause. They can attend a church service and give thanks that way. They can wear a specific color or participate in a fund-raiser. They can organize a community potluck.
But by far the easiest - and yet the most under-used - way is to just contact someone who is or has done something special, and say, "Thank you."
That's it. Just a heart-felt verbal expression of gratefulness. What could be simpler?
Apparently it's very difficult for some folks. The words just won't come! Given the choice between telling someone how much he or she means ... and paying him or her money ... you guessed it. They prefer to pay rather than say.
My take on that is that the feelings are the most important thing. Expressing the feelings runs a close second. After that, giving someone money - if a person really feels the need to do that - needs to be a confirmation of verbally expressed (or written) appreciation.
And finally, the other part of thanksgiving is the attitude of giving: giving without any expectation of recompense or reward, no strings attached. Part of the reason so many people dread the holidays is that there are so many expectations - so many you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-yours assumptions. Reciprocity is a great idea when it's the idea of the person wanting to repay someone for a kindness done. However, when reciprocity (the expectation of repayment in kind) is the basis for a relationship, resentments can build when one party doesn't meet the other's expectations.
I remember one fellow who was well-known for the parties he had at his home for various members of his social group. I knew this man and so I asked him why he'd never invited us to his place. "Because you've never had us over," was his simple - and quick - reply. His response made me think about the political game involved in giving - a game that is most obvious at Christmas, but which is played every day of the year by so many people. And meanwhile, those who have no self-esteem hesitate to even approach someone else ... but I digress.
My main point is that there needs to be both thanks and giving in Thanksgiving.
Every day.
Thanksgiving is huge at our house, especially when it comes to food. There's turkey with all the trimmings (dressing, carrots, squash, mashed potatoes, gravy), two kinds of pie, and usually we like to share our "groaning table" (and when we are done eating we sure ARE groaning) with one or two other people.
We take some time to share the things for which we are most grateful - family, friends, this or that circumstance, and other things that we've been thinking about lately.
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| Tips and tricks for preparing for a holiday meal here |
There are so many ways to express thanks, to show gratitude for the blessings we have in our country, in our society, in our local area - not just at Thanksgiving, but much more frequently than that.
People can donate money to a good cause. They can attend a church service and give thanks that way. They can wear a specific color or participate in a fund-raiser. They can organize a community potluck.
But by far the easiest - and yet the most under-used - way is to just contact someone who is or has done something special, and say, "Thank you."
That's it. Just a heart-felt verbal expression of gratefulness. What could be simpler?
Apparently it's very difficult for some folks. The words just won't come! Given the choice between telling someone how much he or she means ... and paying him or her money ... you guessed it. They prefer to pay rather than say.
My take on that is that the feelings are the most important thing. Expressing the feelings runs a close second. After that, giving someone money - if a person really feels the need to do that - needs to be a confirmation of verbally expressed (or written) appreciation.
And finally, the other part of thanksgiving is the attitude of giving: giving without any expectation of recompense or reward, no strings attached. Part of the reason so many people dread the holidays is that there are so many expectations - so many you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-yours assumptions. Reciprocity is a great idea when it's the idea of the person wanting to repay someone for a kindness done. However, when reciprocity (the expectation of repayment in kind) is the basis for a relationship, resentments can build when one party doesn't meet the other's expectations.
I remember one fellow who was well-known for the parties he had at his home for various members of his social group. I knew this man and so I asked him why he'd never invited us to his place. "Because you've never had us over," was his simple - and quick - reply. His response made me think about the political game involved in giving - a game that is most obvious at Christmas, but which is played every day of the year by so many people. And meanwhile, those who have no self-esteem hesitate to even approach someone else ... but I digress.
My main point is that there needs to be both thanks and giving in Thanksgiving.
Every day.
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