Saturday, November 3, 2012

Learning to sit tight - and then some

"It won't be long now. Sit tight." This is a common statement I've been encouraging myself with lately. 

Are the days something to be endured
or something to be embraced

Diminishing "today"

I've been waiting for a few weeks for certain specific promised events to happen. The timing of these events is completely out of my control, and yet I am figuratively kicking at the fence, checking the mailbox - as if by doing so, I could hurry it up - and the "new me" recognizes that it's the "old me" that's so impatient. 

I don't complain as much, so I'm better at waiting than I used to be. 

Or am I?  My former obsession with controlling the end result by harping and hounding, by ranting and railing, has given way to a more subtle monitoring of the situation, trying to manipulate or at least watch what's going on. 

Even knowing when something is likely to happen doesn't help, because then I cross the days off the calendar in my mind, and fall into the "I can't wait" mind-set. When I catch myself saying, "I can't wait" for this or that to happen, that's when the alarm bells start going off. Viewing this or that day, or this or that group of days (such as Monday to Friday?) as something to be endured before I can begin to live or enjoy life, is completely opposed to the lifestyle that I have adopted the last few years: "Live fully today." If I am marking time until some future date happens, aren't I wasting the potential for joy and happiness that I could experience today? Can't I find something about this day for which I can be grateful?

Perhaps I need to encourage myself with a different message - like "One day at a time" or "Let go and let God" ... and ask myself an action-inducing question, like, "What can I do to accept and enjoy today just as it is?"


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