I've been struggling the past while with control issues... mostly attempts of others to control me - but also the feeling of powerlessness, frustration, and anger that results within me when others try to manipulate or control me or someone I care about.
Most frustrating is the knowledge that as much as I want it to happen, the growth and the freedom that has happened within me (as limited as it might be) is not something I can impart or impose on anyone else. Each person has to come to his or her own personal "bottom" and really WANT to be free, before that kind of change can occur.
I find great symbolism in the story of Frodo and the One Ring. It was forged by Sauron - whose name, in one of the fictitious Middle Earth languages, means "terrible." He created it so as to control all other domains of influence. Some refer to it as "the Ring of Power."
It's the Self.
It's all about control.
The quest to control others, to control outcomes, to use any means necessary to bend people and circumstances to our will ... this is its seductive grip. Some people live their whole lives enslaved by it. Frodo, in LOTR (Lord of the Rings) falls into possession of the Ring and is given the quest to take it to a specific spot and destroy it, to break Sauron's evil power. He is warned that the Ring is seductive, that it will try to gain control over him and get him to wear it, so that he will be compelled to take it back to its evil and ruthless creator. During the entire trilogy, Frodo battles with his own insides as this powerful call becomes stronger and stronger, the closer he gets to the fires of Orodruin - its forging-place and therefore the only place it can be destroyed. The Ring has already driven poor Smeagol (a.k.a. Gollum) insane: his only desire is to touch his "precious", to own its power once again.
The call is that strong. Some - like Gollum - never escape it. Even Frodo - with his fellowship helping him through the entire journey - comes to the brink of yielding to its pull on his soul at the end of his quest.
Tolkien's classic tale is what one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge, would call "mythic" - in that it tells the age-old story of humankind and teaches three lessons:
(1) We are born into a war, an epic struggle between good and evil which rages, unseen, all around us,
(2) Things are not what they appear, and
(3) Each of us has a key role to play - whether for good or for evil.
The path of freedom may take us through many dangers, some of our own making, and some ... not.
Which brings me to my struggle of late. The relentless whisper of Self calls to me and tries to seduce me into seizing control by any means necessary. If not overt in nature, it will use the attempts of others who have believed its lies and who have become enslaved to it, in order to distract me from my quest to be free of its bondage in my life. These others see nothing wrong with their pursuit of power, of control. Even lies (which include lies of omission) are justified. The deception is fierce and the stakes are high. The Self will try to delude me into thinking I am helping these other people by playing along with them, by associating with them and coming alongside of them in their own poison prison. What that does is that it infects me with their malaise. It does not help them; it hinders me. The Self (that Ring of Power) will try to convince me - failing the compromise route - that it is my job to confront and expose the error of their choices. All this does is embroil me in the same slavish soup in which they themselves are cooking. They must travel their own road. I cannot travel it for them.
The only way for me is to heed the Quest. To pay attention to my own journey, not to theirs. To accept that their path is their path, and mine is mine. I cannot add the call of their Self to the call of my Self. It would be too much for me and I would fail.
I can only put one foot in front of the other, and remember why I am here.
Most frustrating is the knowledge that as much as I want it to happen, the growth and the freedom that has happened within me (as limited as it might be) is not something I can impart or impose on anyone else. Each person has to come to his or her own personal "bottom" and really WANT to be free, before that kind of change can occur.
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| Source (via Google Images): http://shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com/2011/12/its-not-my-fault.html |
It's the Self.
It's all about control.
The quest to control others, to control outcomes, to use any means necessary to bend people and circumstances to our will ... this is its seductive grip. Some people live their whole lives enslaved by it. Frodo, in LOTR (Lord of the Rings) falls into possession of the Ring and is given the quest to take it to a specific spot and destroy it, to break Sauron's evil power. He is warned that the Ring is seductive, that it will try to gain control over him and get him to wear it, so that he will be compelled to take it back to its evil and ruthless creator. During the entire trilogy, Frodo battles with his own insides as this powerful call becomes stronger and stronger, the closer he gets to the fires of Orodruin - its forging-place and therefore the only place it can be destroyed. The Ring has already driven poor Smeagol (a.k.a. Gollum) insane: his only desire is to touch his "precious", to own its power once again.
The call is that strong. Some - like Gollum - never escape it. Even Frodo - with his fellowship helping him through the entire journey - comes to the brink of yielding to its pull on his soul at the end of his quest.
Tolkien's classic tale is what one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge, would call "mythic" - in that it tells the age-old story of humankind and teaches three lessons:
(1) We are born into a war, an epic struggle between good and evil which rages, unseen, all around us,
(2) Things are not what they appear, and
(3) Each of us has a key role to play - whether for good or for evil.
The path of freedom may take us through many dangers, some of our own making, and some ... not.
Which brings me to my struggle of late. The relentless whisper of Self calls to me and tries to seduce me into seizing control by any means necessary. If not overt in nature, it will use the attempts of others who have believed its lies and who have become enslaved to it, in order to distract me from my quest to be free of its bondage in my life. These others see nothing wrong with their pursuit of power, of control. Even lies (which include lies of omission) are justified. The deception is fierce and the stakes are high. The Self will try to delude me into thinking I am helping these other people by playing along with them, by associating with them and coming alongside of them in their own poison prison. What that does is that it infects me with their malaise. It does not help them; it hinders me. The Self (that Ring of Power) will try to convince me - failing the compromise route - that it is my job to confront and expose the error of their choices. All this does is embroil me in the same slavish soup in which they themselves are cooking. They must travel their own road. I cannot travel it for them.
The only way for me is to heed the Quest. To pay attention to my own journey, not to theirs. To accept that their path is their path, and mine is mine. I cannot add the call of their Self to the call of my Self. It would be too much for me and I would fail.
I can only put one foot in front of the other, and remember why I am here.
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