I was remembering this scene this morning as I contemplated how a Christian could confront another (if such a thing is possible) about something in his or her life WITHOUT the latter accusing the former of being judgmental. A very ticklish situation. One I've come to realize - in my recovery - that I can't navigate.
Nor do I need to try. I know that it can be frustrating to see another - especially another believer - jump up and down on his or her self-destruct button. If anything is said it needs to be in love and with a lot of what is known as "I-messaging." But I have learned this: the person needs to be ready to receive that kind of rebuke, or it will do as much good as running hot water into a sink to wash dishes ... with no stopper in the drain. A lot of wasted effort for nothing, in other words. People will do what they want because they've already convinced themselves that it's good for them, that it's not that bad - and people resist change. ALL people in their natural state ... resist change. An agent of change is going to automatically incur the wrath of the one he or she is trying to change.
It took me a long time to understand that I was powerless over other people and that in trying to change or fix them, I was really taking on the role that must be played by only one person; that person is God. Since He is faultless, only He can reach into the heart of someone and not condemn them but restore them to wholeness. Nothing I can say or do can effect that kind of change in someone. Only He can. It's His thing.
As I meditated this morning on the mote and the beam (an analogy for a defect of character in someone's life) - I'm reminded that having something - large or small - in your eye is a PAINFUL thing. And having it removed is even MORE painful! There has to be a lot of trust - and hopefully anesthetic - involved. And there is one thing common to every single removal of something from the eye.
When God removes a defect of character from me, it is never painless. There are lots of tears involved. But the tears are necessary to wash all the residual crud out, and to help in the healing process. And there's another reason the tears are necessary. They are so that I can see clearly again. The pain literally blinds me - and when I let Him do His work in me, I can see clearly. If someone else suffers from that same thing, I know what it feels like, I know how important it is to have removed, and I know who to go to in order to have the job done right. The One who taught about motes and beams. Getting the beam out of my own life also helps me not to judge another who has a speck in his; it motivates me to act and speak in compassion and love. That goes a very long way toward healing both in me and in the life of someone else on whom I have that kind of compassion - the same compassion and tenderness I would hope that another would give to me - the kind that Jesus showed to me.
There's an old Gaither song that comes to me right now ... and I thought that I would share its lyrics with you because they so powerfully illustrates this process of healing.
He washed my eyes with tears that I might see The broken heart I had was good for me; He tore it all apart and looked inside - He found it full of fear and foolish pride. He swept away the things that made me blind And then I saw the clouds were silver lined; And now I understand 'twas best for me He washed my eyes with tears that I might see. He washed my eyes with tears that I might see The glory of Himself revealed to me; I did not know that He had wounded hands - I saw the blood He spilt upon the sands. I saw the marks of shame and wept and cried; He was my substitute! for me He died; And now I'm glad He came so tenderly And washed my eyes with tears that I might see.
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