Saturday, July 20, 2013

Level and True

When tiling a floor correctly, one learns how to use a tool called a level to make sure that the tiles are even with each other (true) and that they are parallel with the Earth's gravitational pull (level), especially when creating a large project. Smaller ones might be able to be done by "feel" where one runs a hand over the surface of the tile, but for larger surfaces, it's not enough to go by how something feels. There has to be an independent measure going both ways (east-west and north-south, if you will) that the floor is safe. 

It's about balance, really. A level is a straight edge that houses a bit of liquid in a tube that has an air bubble in it. When the air bubble is in the middle of the liquid, the surface being tested is level. It's balanced. The bubble will show to the left or right of the center of the tube if the floor, in this case, is not level. And the straight edge will rock back and forth (or show a gap underneath) if the pieces of tile are not true (lined up to the same level) with each other. 

It's important to make it level, because once that soft stuff underneath it dries, it will be too late to go back and make it right ... without taking a jack-hammer to it. 

Taking care at the beginning of a process can avoid a great deal of work and anguish later. True in construction, true in life.

A little over three years ago, I went to a special clinic to be assessed for the presence and severity of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (Yes, the tests were positive; my MCS is in the range of moderate). One of the tests they asked me to do was the balance test. They hooked motion-sensing electrodes to a few points on me and then asked me to stand on one foot, then the other, while a computer measured how much I wavered. I did pretty fine with it. And then they asked me to do the same thing with my eyes closed. 

Not fine. 

Most people can do that with only a few centimeters of difference between the two results. I was all over the map on the second test. For some reason, people with MCS have a more exaggerated loss of balance than regular folks. Who knew! 

By the end of the three-day assessment, I'd been poked, prodded, hooked up to machines, and had an intravenous treatment to mark the second phase of a 48-hour urine test, not to mention talks with an occupational therapist, a psychologist and an MCS specialist ... and finally I got my diagnosis. 

Best of all, I was able to discuss the things I needed to do in order to put some balance back into my life. My body was missing or low on an essential mineral, and the specialist instructed me on how to get the correct supplement, what to look for and how much to use. This mineral was what he called a "chelating [KEE-late-ing] agent" - which essentially is something that binds with the toxins in the system so as to allow the body to flush them out. Otherwise they build up and can't be released. The more toxins are there, the more quickly any further exposure to them can trigger a neurological reaction: headaches, lack of concentration, disorientation, even stuttering, dizziness, breathing difficulties, and nausea.

Since I started taking this mineral, I've noticed a very slow change in my sensitivities. Slow because each exposure brings the toxin levels back up, the change takes place over time and is cumulative. It takes a long time to work. However, I have seen progress. It takes more concentrated exposures to scented products like hair spray, deodorant soaps, and even room deodorizers to make me have a reaction now than it once did. I still need to be careful, of course. I still avoid the detergent aisle in the grocery store and I can't go near the perfume counter at the drug store. Sometimes I can't even go into the store itself. Some stores are absolutely off-limits (the Body Shoppe for example). 

Still, my life is much less restricted than it once was. There was a time when I couldn't go to work without wearing a mask over my face. (I remember one poor person thinking I had H1N1 and that I was going to die... and others ostracizing me for what they thought my motives were. They had no idea.) 

Today, I went into the washroom at a local grocery store and I was immediately struck with waves of fragrance from an overpoweringly scented soap that the store keeps in its soap dispensers. I immediately went into self-protect mode and was able to do the bare minimum in that room, only by employing filtering strategies I've developed over time. However, three years ago, those two minutes would have given me an instant headache even with the filtering. 

Thanks to artur84 at
www.freedigitalphotos.net for this
photo, "Construction Level"

Today it didn't. My balance is coming back.

It's come through an insistence on self-care that is based on consistency, sometimes in spite of evidence that the pills seemed to be doing no discernible good. Yet, here I sit, able to discuss this issue frankly and without accusation, without ranting or being unpleasant. This was not possible when this process first started. 

I'm more on a level with my world - and true to those around me: I can get along with other people better too, much better than before. 

Will my sensitivities eventually disappear? I don't know. Maybe. I haven't excluded the possibility. Nevertheless, I am glad to have gone through this process, because it has made me passionate about the rights of those that suffer in this way, for all those who are marginalized because their disability is "invisible" - whether it's MCS, deafness, mental illness, or what have you. 

The important thing for me in this whole process is to make sure that I am first true to myself. Then my life will be true with others and I will achieve the balance I seek.

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