Friday, May 10, 2013

It takes what it takes

I make no secret of the fact that I don't like to see something unfinished. Especially in my life. I want so badly to "skip to the end" and see the final result.

Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that. It's messy - and there are always loose ends, incomplete "works in progress." Not just one or two, but all over the place. This relationship, or that project, or maybe another as yet unmet objective. Even times when I think something is just the way it should be, only to find out a crucial step was missed - and I have to deconstruct it and build it back the right way. 

Even if it's hard. Even if it takes a long time. Or a lot of work.

"Winding Road" photo courtesy of pixbox77 at

And so, I am always reminding myself that "in progress" is the status of a life being lived, that the journey is as important as (and perhaps in some cases more important than) the destination. 

"It takes what it takes," I repeat to myself. "Someday I'll look around and it'll be the way it's supposed to be. And I won't even have noticed it."


There are setbacks. Obstacles. Times when it feels like two steps forward, one step back. Or ... maybe even three steps back. 

Stuff happens. People change. 

Someone enters my life; someone else walks away. Or maybe I need to be the one walking toward - or away from - a particular person or group of people. 

People misinterpret intentions. They take advantage of my desire to be liked, to not have conflict - and I find myself being the doormat again. Or I become so passionate about helping someone that I lose sight of that person's right to choose, and I end up trying to control the outcome. 

It happens. 

The up side of all this is that at any moment, I can choose to stop what I am doing and take a different route. Sometimes that means making an apology - or setting (or enforcing) a boundary. Or I can choose to stay the course and see things through, depending on the situation. 

Along the way, I need to be sure that I'm looking after myself, or (as one friend put it) being kind to myself.

I never know how long something is going to take, or when (or even IF) a situation will be resolved. I never know what the outcome will be. That (maddening and discouraging as it is at times) is part of the journey. 

And ... it takes what it takes ... however long it takes.

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