We look at children who need a "lovey" or a security blanket to get to sleep at night, and we think it's quaint and cute. But the truth is, everyone needs a security blanket of some sort. Because we all need security.
When I was a child, and even into my teens and twenties, I had horrible flash-back nightmares of traumatic childhood experiences, as well as dream-type nightmares based on my worst fears - phobias I had, and in some areas, still have. These left me feeling so exhausted that I would eventually "crash" and go into a dreamless sleep for a few nights running. And then they'd start again. Every time. I'd wake up in a panic, convinced that insects were crawling all over me and into my nostrils, suffocating me... or whatever other "powerlessness" dreams my subconscious (or my conscious memory) cooked up for me.
I was at a loss as to what to do. Then someone - I think it was a Sunday School teacher - suggested to me to sleep with my Bible under my pillow when I happened to mention that I was having bad dreams. I was brought up in a very superstitious household and community, so that tactic made sense to me at the time. I started sleeping with my Bible under my pillow ... and amazingly, the nightmares didn't happen nearly as often.
In hindsight, what I think really happened is that I was aware of that Bible under my pillow all night long, and was reminded as I slept that Somebody bigger than me, Someone much larger than even the thing or things I feared most, was with me and looking after me. It was a very small, very unusual security blanket. And I SO needed security. And it worked. I'm a firm believer that God uses whatever means necessary to let us know that He is looking after us because He loves us.
And yeah, I need reminding.
I eventually grew out of my need to sleep with a Bible under my pillow - that phase lasted about three or four years. The thing I took from that time in my life was that God's love was something that I could count on whether I was aware of it or not.
Yet ... I still need reminding. Often.
I found myself thinking about my youthful but rather bizarre security blanket lately, because of my recent struggles with feeling overwhelmed by stress in my life. I guess that my emotional needs haven't really changed since I was that many years younger than I am now. I still need security, security that can't be provided by other people or a regular paycheck. I've tried to find it in other things, usually compulsive habits that make me feel better temporarily, but nothing really works except being reminded - and God always finds a way to remind me - that He loves me ... no matter what.
No matter what. Now THAT's a security blanket.
When I was a child, and even into my teens and twenties, I had horrible flash-back nightmares of traumatic childhood experiences, as well as dream-type nightmares based on my worst fears - phobias I had, and in some areas, still have. These left me feeling so exhausted that I would eventually "crash" and go into a dreamless sleep for a few nights running. And then they'd start again. Every time. I'd wake up in a panic, convinced that insects were crawling all over me and into my nostrils, suffocating me... or whatever other "powerlessness" dreams my subconscious (or my conscious memory) cooked up for me.
In hindsight, what I think really happened is that I was aware of that Bible under my pillow all night long, and was reminded as I slept that Somebody bigger than me, Someone much larger than even the thing or things I feared most, was with me and looking after me. It was a very small, very unusual security blanket. And I SO needed security. And it worked. I'm a firm believer that God uses whatever means necessary to let us know that He is looking after us because He loves us.
And yeah, I need reminding.
I eventually grew out of my need to sleep with a Bible under my pillow - that phase lasted about three or four years. The thing I took from that time in my life was that God's love was something that I could count on whether I was aware of it or not.
Yet ... I still need reminding. Often.
I found myself thinking about my youthful but rather bizarre security blanket lately, because of my recent struggles with feeling overwhelmed by stress in my life. I guess that my emotional needs haven't really changed since I was that many years younger than I am now. I still need security, security that can't be provided by other people or a regular paycheck. I've tried to find it in other things, usually compulsive habits that make me feel better temporarily, but nothing really works except being reminded - and God always finds a way to remind me - that He loves me ... no matter what.
No matter what. Now THAT's a security blanket.
No comments:
Post a Comment